Sometimes you have to see the humour in things!

With the prospect of Ali’s G-tube coming out permanently, I’ve been taking some time to reminisce.  I find myself often shaking my head when I think about her “tubie” and the journey it’s taken us on!  More often than not, I find myself laughing at the steep learning curve and all the crazy moments that occur when you introduce a feeding tube into an unsuspecting family.  I’ve done so many crazy things in the name of getting Ali fed!

  • I’ve called and emailed stores on pretty much every continent looking for syringes to feed baby squirrels (I’m not going to explain but I know that some of you are laughing right now). The vast majority of the people I spoke to thought I was nuts.
  • I have inserted a feeding tube while eating a Mc Chicken with Ali sitting in an infant seat on a table in McDonald’s. I really thought nothing of it until I looked up and saw all the shocked faces of the people around me.
  • I have tried to unclog a clot in a g-tube only to cause a massive explosion and cover absolutely everything in the room/vehicle with food. I’ve done this multiple times and Ali always thinks it’s funny!  Her favourite is watching it drip from my nose!
  • I have left Ali’s port open and had the entire contents of her stomach drain down my leg as I was carrying her. When you’ve got things to do, you have things to do so I just continued on with my day and threw my pants in the hamper when I got home.
  • I have used a syringe to catch vomit to avoid getting puked on in public and then put it in my purse. I found it the next morning.
  • I have woken up bleary eyed from a long night and taken a sip of coffee only to realize that it was predigested tube feeding formula.
  • I am well aware that I can vent my child’s G-tube in a way that makes it sound like a fart and yes, I think it’s funny.
  • I have caught a massive mucous ball ejected from my daughter in my hands while grocery shopping and wiped it on my pants and then worn the pants the next day because they were still “pretty much” clean.
  • I have run all around a drug store to find my husband in order to exclaim excitedly, “Look at the action on this syringe” when the pharmacist has let me sample a new brand of 10 ml syringes.
  • My kids are the ones that show up to the squirt gun fight with massive syringes and they really know how to handle those babies!  I also use syringes to water plants, baste turkeys, measure for baking and to make popsicles.